So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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