i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
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