i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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