week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
