yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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