i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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