I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
