Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
