Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
