Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
