Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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