Do vagina's smell?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
