My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
3 2 1 whiskey
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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