Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
