He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He? As in you personified your dick?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
