I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
