ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Watching her eat just hurts me
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
