bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
