Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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