Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
