He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
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