It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
