Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
