Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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