just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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