Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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