if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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