Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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