How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Randomize
