There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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