I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
