Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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