Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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