just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
As shirtless as possible
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
