I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
