you would pick up someone in the library
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
