did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
