This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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