ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i wish my penis had a tongue
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
