i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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