so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
