This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
