Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
