do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
