Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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