So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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