Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
