I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
