she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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