her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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