Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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