He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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